5 ATTRACTIONS I DON’T WANT TO SEE IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM FILM

For this post, I’m building off of my last post. Here’s the basic idea:

Having been a Disneyland pass-holder for the better part of 16 years now, I was super excited to hear Disney was developing a script called THE MAGIC KINGDOM. The story has been described as “Night at the Museum inside Disneyland” and is rumored to be about a family who gets stuck in the theme park after it closes which happens to be when the attractions come to life. Say what you will about Night at the Museum but those films were very fun. Imagine how much funner that premise could be set in surroundings familiar to most of our childhoods.

I was further excited to hear that Jon Favreau would be taking over this project as he films spectacular looking movies that always manage to entertain. The fact that he bailed on Iron Man 3 to make this film also got me very excited thinking that maybe there’s something special here.

So, being that I am very familiar with the park, I thought I’d list a few attractions I would really NOT like to see used in the film. I wouldn’t say these are the Top 5 they shouldn’t use but more the Top 5 I hope they skip. Here they are (in order):

5. ANYTHING IN TOONTOWN.

I always thought Toontown was the lamest addition made to the park. I’m sure kids love it and maybe I was just too old to enjoy it when it was built. I just always wished for another rollercoaster and instead they made a place for little kids. Which I loved the first time when it was called Fantasyland! Still, I have a feeling (and actually hope) Mickey Mouse will play a big part in the story. Since this is where his house is, I fear it will play a part in the film!

4. THE TEA CUPS.

Why weren’t these things used in the film Hostel? Every kid wants to go on the iconic Tea Cups at Disneyland but never feels right after! People who write comedy seem to think things that spin around and make people puke is comedy gold. Sometimes it works (like in The Sandlot) but for the most part it’s just dumb humor. I’d honestly prefer a fart joke!

3. THE ENCHANTED TIKI ROOM.

I’m going to use basically the same argument for this one as I did for #3 but it seems fitting. People who write comedy seem to think a bunch of nutty birds is great to use in the genre. Sometimes it works (like the seagulls in Finding Nemo) but for the most part it’s just annoying. Let’s skip the scene featuring a room full of annoying birds with a penchant for breaking into song!

2. THE HALL OF PRESIDENTS.

This is, I believe, one of the first times Disney used Animatronics in his park. Since it’s so iconic, I feel they may try to use it. My advice is to avoid. Since this film is being touted as “Night at the Museum in Disneyland”, I would avoid taking a page right out of NATM’s book. After all, they all ready did the president coming to life thing with Robin Williams playing Teddy Roosevelt. I suggest finding a new/ different way to be funny in this case.

1. IT’S A SMALL WORLD.

I fear that it’s such an iconic stop at the park that they will feel compelled to use it in the film. Personally, the only way I’d be okay with that is if they make fun of how annoying that song is to listen to over and over again when you’re on the ride. That or somebody busts in and cuts the place to swiss cheese with an Uzi!

Also, Marionettes just plain creep me out!