TOP 5 TV-to-FILM ADAPTATIONS

 

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Let’s say we jump right in:

5. JACKASS.

I suppose this is a bit of a cheat since the movie is really just one long episode of the show but isn’t that what all adaptations are. I can’t help loving these movies. They crack me up.

MY TOP 5 STONER FLICKS

Let’s be clear about one thing… while I enjoy the occasional (Okay, frequent!) alcoholic beverage, I haven’t done any drug of any kind in many a moon. It did happen though. In case I decide to run for public office some day, I should state for the record: I didn’t exhale… for a long time… and it was more of a huge cough than an exhale. Now that that’s clear, here’s my Top 5 Stoner Flicks that make me reminiscent of the days spent with my Buds:

5. HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE.

This film answers the ancient stoner question: How good does White Castle sound right now? This film is chock-full of laughs and features one of my favorite cameos. That being Neal Patrick Harris as a drugged out, womanizing, thief with an ego. Did I mention he plays himself?

TOP 5 CHARACTERS: QUENTIN TARANTINO

I have to admit that this is one of the hardest lists I’ve ever tried to throw together. If there’s one thing Quentin Tarantino does well, it’s write great characters. However, if there’s one thing I love, it’s challenging myself. So, here’s my Top 5 Quentin Tarantino characters. Enjoy:

5. THE BRIDE (aka: BEATRIX KIDDO).

FILM: KILL BILL VOL. 1, 2 & 3 (announced)

While many will say that QT made Kill Bill because of his infatuation for Uma Thurman’s feet, I believe there’s a lot more going on here that gets ignored. Kill Bill is an interesting take on storytelling, even from a guy who prides himself on trashing traditional methods of storytelling. I think QT used it as an attempt to do what James Cameron did with the character of Ellen Ripley in the Aliens franchise. That is, to create a strong female protagonist in a male dominated landscape. Ultimately he succeeds and deserves recognition for his efforts.

5 ATTRACTIONS I DON’T WANT TO SEE IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM FILM

For this post, I’m building off of my last post. Here’s the basic idea:

Having been a Disneyland pass-holder for the better part of 16 years now, I was super excited to hear Disney was developing a script called THE MAGIC KINGDOM. The story has been described as “Night at the Museum inside Disneyland” and is rumored to be about a family who gets stuck in the theme park after it closes which happens to be when the attractions come to life. Say what you will about Night at the Museum but those films were very fun. Imagine how much funner that premise could be set in surroundings familiar to most of our childhoods.

I was further excited to hear that Jon Favreau would be taking over this project as he films spectacular looking movies that always manage to entertain. The fact that he bailed on Iron Man 3 to make this film also got me very excited thinking that maybe there’s something special here.

So, being that I am very familiar with the park, I thought I’d list a few attractions I would really NOT like to see used in the film. I wouldn’t say these are the Top 5 they shouldn’t use but more the Top 5 I hope they skip. Here they are (in order):

5. ANYTHING IN TOONTOWN.

I always thought Toontown was the lamest addition made to the park. I’m sure kids love it and maybe I was just too old to enjoy it when it was built. I just always wished for another rollercoaster and instead they made a place for little kids. Which I loved the first time when it was called Fantasyland! Still, I have a feeling (and actually hope) Mickey Mouse will play a big part in the story. Since this is where his house is, I fear it will play a part in the film!

5 ATTRACTIONS I’D LIKE TO SEE IN THE MAGIC KINGDOM FILM

Having been a Disneyland pass-holder for the better part of 16 years now, I was super excited to hear Disney was developing a script called THE MAGIC KINGDOM. The story has been described as “Night at the Museum inside Disneyland” and is rumored to be about a family who gets stuck in the theme park after it closes which happens to be when the attractions come to life. Say what you will about Night at the Museum, but those films were very fun. Imagine how much funner that premise could be set in surroundings familiar to most of our childhoods.

I was further excited to hear that Jon Favreau would be taking over this project as he films spectacular looking movies that always manage to entertain. The fact that he bailed on Iron Man 3 to make this film also got me very excited thinking that maybe there’s something special here.

So, being that I am very familiar with the park, I thought I’d list a few attractions I would really like to see used in the film. I wouldn’t say these are the Top 5 they should use but more the Top 5 I hope they fail to skip. Here they are (in order):

HONORABLE MENTION: STAR TOURS & THE INDIANA JONES RIDE.

I think that we’d all like to see these rides used in the film but I think licensing and film rights would make it impossible. Still had to mention it though because how cool would that be?

5. DINOSAURS AT THE DISNEY RAILWAY.

A forgotten gem of the park! The Disneyland Train runs along the perimeter of the park and stops in 4 places. The Grand Canyon & Prehistoric Creatures attraction (showed in its entirety in the video above) is located on the last leg between Tomorrowland and the park entrance. I would love to see them use this attraction that many times was the last thing to enjoy on your way out of the park after a long day of fun. Bonus: It all ready looks like a movie set!

MY TOP 5 COOLEST MOVIE MOTORBIKES

Sorry, Dennis, but the times they are a changing!

That’s right! Hopper didn’t make THE LIST because we don’t do those generic lists you can get on any other site. I wanted to put together a list of the Top 5 Movie Motor Bikes that I think kick ass. That, if I had the choice, I would choose to own. So, here are my Top 5 (in order):

5. BATPOD FROM THE DARK KNIGHT.

Not only can it drive half way up a wall and flip around and not only does it have two huge cannons on the front of it but it also ejects from one of the coolest movie cars ever.

MY TOP 5 DIRECTORS TO EMERGE FROM THE 2000’s

While some of these guys got their start before we took to our bunkers for the Y2K apocalypse, they’ve all managed to make a name for themselves in the past decade. While they may not yet be on the same level as the Scorceses and Speilbergs, I feel these guys may be in line to be Hollywood’s next group of directing elites. Here they are (in order):

5. EDGAR WRIGHT.

Best Film: Shaun of the Dead
Next Up: Them & Marvel’s Ant-Man

Not only did he direct probably my favorite comedy of all time but Edgar has made progress to solidify himself as more than just the director buddy of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. With Scott Pilgrim he proved he’s here to turn conventional filmmaking on its head. He’s a young guy but look for him to continue making his way to directing elite.

4. J.J. ABRAMS.

Best Film: Star Trek
Next Up: Super 8

Not only is Abrams a good director but he seems to have a good gauge for the types of movies people want to see. He seems to make everything he touches better, even if it’s a producing capacity. He has cited Speilberg as a major influence and I think you can see the influence in his work. If he keeps it up, he just might be the heir apparent.

MY TOP 5 GREATEST COMIC BOOK MOVIE VILLAINS

Um… NO!

As much as everyone joneses over who’s going to get the title role in comic book movies, the success of these films tends to rely heavily on who plays the bad guy. The antagonists often have the meatier roles. Unfortunately, the people playing them don’t always take advantage. So, I thought we’d shine a spotlight on those who did. Here are my Top 5 Comic Book Villains (in order): 

5. DOCTOR OCTOPUS (Alfred Molina).

Doc Ock must’ve been a fun role to play because, though he is the villain of the film, he’s not necessarily a good guy or a bad guy. He’s become a victim of his own creation and a mindless slave to it. Watching Molina snap back and forth from blood thirsty bad guy to everyday nerd in a lab coat with a heart of gold was fun to watch. Oh, and those tentacles were super cool.

TOP 5 MOVIES: CHRISTIAN SLATER

How effing cool is this Cat???

Anybody can do an A-Lister’s Top 5… we here at THE LIST continue to honor our vow to celebrate the best of the rest. Now, while Mr. Slater may have, at one point, been considered an A-Lister, he seems to have fallen on hard times over the last decade. Still, he remains an 80’s fav and, for that reason, I honor him now by celebrating his Top 5 Films. Here they are (in order):

SIDENOTE: I am excluding INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. While it would rank very high on most lists I’d do, I feel that Slater’s part was so small that it almost shouldn’t be counted for this… so it isn’t!

5. HEATHERS.

I’ll be honest… I need to rewatch this one. I remember liking it a bunch but don’t hold it to the utmost esteem that many others do. And while Untamed Heart and Young Guns 2 were pleading with me to make THE LIST, Heathers earns itself the #5 spot.

4. VERY BAD THINGS.

Very Bad Things? More like best weekend ever! Personally, I refuse to leave Vegas until a hooker has been buried in the desert! In all seriousness, if you haven’t seen this film, stop reading this or doing whatever you are doing and GO WATCH IT NOW! While it only comes in at #4, it would easily be the first Slater film I’d recommend!

TOP 5 MALE NUDE SCENES

Ummm… NO!

I’m going to be honest… this is not the funnest list I’ve ever written. In fact, you’ll notice this is a “Top 5” list as opposed to the typical “My Top 5” lists you’ve come to know and love as I really have no opinion on the matter. However, turnabout is fair play. So, it seemed only fair that, after listing my favorite scenes featuring boobies on display, I put a list together for the ladies so they can have a chance to enjoy some impressive “Magic Sticks”. Here’s 5 for you, girls… I certainly hope you appreciate it!

5. KINSEY (Liam Neeson).

Liam Neeson has many *ahem* “talents” but his *ahem* “biggest”* is featured in this film. See what I did there? Honestly, the size of Neeson’s penis was something of legend for years and he certainly silenced his detractors with this film. My only question is this: How is Julia Roberts still not walking funny?

SIDENOTE: Neeson dated Roberts in the late 80’s… do the math!