LEAST INTERESTING FILMS OF 2010
It’s about that time where bloggers everywhere start doing their end of the year lists. However, it’s a bit premature for best and worst lists as studios still like to dump films in December, be it for Oscar nominations or just to plain get them off their slate for tax purposes. Still, I think now is as good a time as any to start looking back on the films that just didn’t matter. So, without further Mountain Dew, I present you with films that meant about as much to me as a set of Double D’s on a dude…. these are my LEAST INTERESTING FILMS OF 2010. Here ya go (in order):
SIDENOTE: I should mention that I haven’t seen any of these films so, for all I know, they may be great but I see everything… I’m that guy that thinks Rom Coms with Jennifer Aniston look good… so the fact that these films didn’t peak the slightest bit of interest from me says something.
10. GREEN ZONE.
Of all the films on this list, this is the one I’m most likely to see. Let’s be honest though, most of the films made about the Iraq Wars (The Hurt Locker excluded) have been pretty weak. I’ll probably give this one a look because the talent involved is undeniable but I’d much more prefer it if it had Bourne in the title!
9. EAT, PRAY, LOVE.
More like Yawn, Sleep, Snore! Mind you, I’m probably not the demographic they were chasing with a film about a woman in her 40’s rediscovering herself and her sexuality. Still, think I’ll take a pass on this one and leave it for all you Oprah lovers!
8. VAMPIRES SUCK.
Yes, they do lately. I love a good spoof as much as the next guy and this one is certainly relevant with the onslaught of emo vampire films we’ve gotten lately. However, if I’m going to enjoy a spoof film, I’ll stick to the Scary Movie 1 & 2’s and The Naked Guns.
The only way I’m seeing another Katherine Heigl movie is at gunpoint… or if it’s written by Judd Apatow. In fact, the only thing that can make a Heigl movie worse is to make it a premise that’s been done a thousand times and then to couple her with Ashton Kutcher. Don’t get me wrong, I dig Ashton. Hell, I bet he’d be a great guy to have a beer with but I still have a hard time buying him as a leading man. Though Kutcher was da bomb in Butterfly Effect, Yo!
6. LEGEND OF THE GAURDIANS: THE OWLS OF GA’HOULE.
Yeah, I want to go see the new Zach Snyder film. What is it? Another Comic Adaptation? Another Zombie extravaganza? An original film featuring barrels of CG-Eye Candy? What’s that you say? Owl warriors? Uh……………… never mind!
5. DEAR JOHN, LETTERS TO JULIET & LAST SONG.
Is it just me or was Dear John a waaaaaay better TV show than movie.
Come on… these are the same film, right? I mean they all have Amanda Seyfried in them. Maybe they’re some kind of weird trilogy. I dunno… I guess I’ll never know.
AKA: Seabiscuit 2. But, Kai, you don’t get it. Secretariat is one of the greatest athletes of all time. Okay. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go die of laughter!
3. THE BACK UP PLAN.
I actually have a back-up plan in case someone doesn’t buy my first excuse to get out of seeing this movie. It involves repeatedly stabbing myself in the eyes with a rusty fork!
I don’t know what annoys me most about this movie. I mean, if you’re going to adapt a comic strip into a movie, at least pick a 3 panel strip. Not the one they stick down by Family Circus… that’s just as funny… but features a dog… that’s big. Then there’s Owen Wilson. I mean, how many Dog movies do you want on your resume, man. AND he’s doing a voice. This is the guy whose cartoon voice career is so bad he even managed to ruin a Pixar movie… Cars sucks! I don’t care what anyone says!
1. JONAH HEX.
Okay… this one’s a cheat because I did watch this one. Well, most of it. I literally never turn movies off. If I put the DVD in the ol’ Blu-Ray player then it is on. That is until I sat down to watch Jonah Hex. Which I shut off before it was over because it truly had nothing to offer me. The sad thing is, I turned it off with only 8 minutes left in the film. If that doesn’t qualify it for the LEAST INTERESTING FILM OF 2010, I don’t know what does!