THE LIST GOES GRIZZWOLD

I’ve got to be honest with you guys… after nearly 53 weeks straight of bringing you the best movie lists on the web, I need a little break. So, I’m doing something I’ve never done. I’m taking a week off of work and taking a vacation.

When I started this blog, I managed to juggle a full time job, kids, a marriage and a biweekly podcast but about 9 months ago, a 4 hour daily commute got added to the mix and it has just taken it’s toll. So, the site is shutting down a couple weeks so I can recharge. We will be back with regular posts again the week of January 10th.

In the meantime, we will be posting MILFcast’s Tournament of Champions sometime between the 1st and 8th of January. Hopefully, that’lll be able to help fill the void so stay tuned for that.

I also want to say that during this time I will be celebrating my 8th wedding anniversary with my beautiful wife, and Editor-in-Chief, Shirley Rae.

You know what that means, right? Yup! I’ve had sex at least 7 times. Fingers crossed for #8! Actually, and in all seriousness, we are still completely smitten for one another. See:

So, stay tuned for our return and I’m out of here like Pesci and Glover!

MY TOP 10 CHRISTMAS MOVIES

If you’re looking for classics, then you’ve just plain ol’ come to the wrong blog. However, I’ve got what I think is the must see list of films for this holiday season. So, in honor of tomorrow’s holiday, here are my Top 10 Christmas Movies (in order):

10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

I don’t know how much people like Ron Howard’s live action adaptation of this Dr. Seuss classic but I loves it. Most of that love is due to Jim Carrey’s performance as the Grinch which is a role that totally suits his personality. A personality that shines through even through all of that make-up.

9. Black Christmas.

If you didn’t think I was going to put some horror up here, well, you just don’t know me at all. While Silent Night, Deadly Night is great, I’m a fan of good old Black Christmas. Both versions are great but I even kind of prefer the horrible remake… mainly because the girls are just hotter!

TOP 5 MOVIE THINGS I WANT THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

NOW THAT’S A STOCKING!!!

Many of you may not know this but we do not celebrate Christmas at my house. Never have! While I am not a religious person, my family and my wife happen to be. However, this year I have really gotten into the spirit of the season. That is, I really wish people would buy me some shit!

So, if there’s anyone out there looking, here’s a few helpful hints to guide you along the way to pleasing your friendly neighborhood Kaiderman this holiday season… in order of awesomeness:

5. THE GARDEN JAWA.

So, I bought a house 2 years ago this month and was infatuated with owning a Gnome for my garden. Only thing is they cost about 20 bucks… and I’m not paying 20 bucks for a friggin’ Gnome. However, I would shell out the cash for this awesome Jawa Gnome from Star Wars Shop. Too cool!

Available (online) at: http://shop.starwars.com/
Cost: 34.99 + S&H

4. RESIN ZOMBIE CRAWLING OUT OF GROUND.

Garden Jawas are great for the back yard but what do you put in that little patch of dirt by your front walkway? Simple! This nearly 3 foot long resin statue of a Zombie trying to pull itself out of the grave.

Available (online) at: www.thinkgeek.com
Cost: 89.99 + S&H

3. THE I HEART ZOMBIES T-SHIRT.

Sticking with the whole Zombie theme, what better way to show you’re a Romero fan than with this classic I Heart Zombies tee. Show all those Twi-hards that you support what movie monsters were supposed to be… BAD-ASS!

Available (online) at: www.tshirtbordello.com
Cost: 14.99 + S&H

2. TRON LEGACY 12″ DELUXE SAM FLYNN ACTION FIGURE.

Quite simply, this is the coolest toy I have ever seen. You press a button and Flynn’s face is projected on to the inside of the helmet and a real looking face moves and talks to you. I actually own the 6″ version of this figure but, much like my penis, I wish I had the bigger one!

Available at: Toys R Us
Cost: 39.99 + tax

1. SLAVE LEIA COSTUME (SIZE SM).

Okay, this one isn’t actually for me… it’s for my beautiful wife Shirley… but it’s also really for me!

Available (online) at: www.ultimatestarwarscostumes.com
Cost: 59.88 + S&H

MILFcast (aka: the Man, I Love Films podcast) – Episode 13

For the 13th Episode of MILFcast, I am joined by my co-host Heather Roddy and her cronies (Jim Napier and Jon Sullivan) from Movie Mobsters to discuss the following:

– What we’ve been watching.

– AFI’s Top 10 Films of 2010.

– Movie News: Golden Globe Nomination Edition.

– We play a game of Kai’s Heather’s Always Right and THE GAME!!!

You can find MILFcast on podOmatic by clicking here. You can also subscribe or download for free on iTunes. Please drop a comment or leave any feedback on the episode below or send me an e-mail at: kai_parker@yahoo.com

The Tournament of Champions is set. Here’s who will be going head to head on January 1st:
1. Dylan Fields – 19 points
2. Steve Johnston – 17 points
T-3. Rachel Thuro – 15 points
T-3. Jason Soto – 15 points
4. Mad Hatter – 13 points

NEW MUSIC for the podcast provided by Steve Bush of The Bill Shakespeares who can be found at http://thebillshakespeares.com

MY TOP 5 FAVORITE KIND OF MOVIE POSTERS

Not sure if you know this but while there are thousands of movie posters out there, there are only about a dozen different kinds. Below, I’ve listed my favorites. Before we jump in though, I’d thought I’d note a couple of Honorable Mentions.

HONORABLE MENTION:

The Hand Painted Movie Poster.

In all honesty, these types of posters are my favorite but they’re as extinct as marriages that last a lifetime these days so I’m excluding them from contention. However, I had to give them props!

The Beautiful Young Stars in a Row Movie Poster.

These too have become somewhat extinct but we were inundated with them in the 90’s with the string of Scream rip-offs that were flooding into theaters. We were so bombarded with them that, to tell you the truth, they became annoying. Though, in recent years, they make me feel a bit nostalgic!

Okay… on to the TOP 5:

THE THREESOME GAME: ROUND 3

That’s right, boys and girls, the 3some game is back like Brett Favre at the end of training camp. For those of you new to the site, here’s a break down of how the game is played:

This brain-child of mine was born out of my boredom for a game couples have been playing for years that shares a name with everyone’s favorite blog: THE LIST. The List, as I’m sure you know, is a game where partners keep an imaginary list of 3 to 5 celebrities in their proverbial back pocket. Should one of the devoted have the opportunity to have a chance encounter with one of the celebrities on their list, their better half would be forced to give them a pass (usually given because there’s no way in hell it could ever really happen). From that, I developed this game… here’s the basic idea:

What is every man’s fantasy? Simple, a threesome. What is every man’s ultimate threesome? Even simpler… TWINS! However, upon deeper thought, I realized that twins would be like doing the same thing twice. What would be better was two woman who could pass as twins, yet maintain subtle differences. Things unique to themselves. Like two Pale Ales from different brewers. Each the same drink, nearly indistinguishable, just slightly different. So, we use the world of celebrities and I introduce you to a new game… THE THREESOME GAME.

This is really just a way to gawk at how eerily similar some celebrities look to one another. It’s just funner when you put a sexual connotation on it. I’ve put together a list for the guys and girls out there. Enjoy!

FOR THE LADIES:

Christopher Meloni & Elias Koteas.

TOP 5 MOST ANNOYING CASTING SWITCHES

I don’t know about you but one thing that drives me crazy is when producers of a film decide to make a casting switch in sequels for popular movies. That is, they bring in a new actor to play a part in a sequel that was played by another actor in the original film. I think it annoys me more than anything because, having ADD, it completely distracts me and takes me out of the film.

We talked about it a bit on the latest MILFcast and I thought it was a good enough topic to require it’s own list. So, here’s the Top 5 that annoy me the most (in order):

5. THE MATRIX RELOADED & REVOLUTIONS (Character: The Oracle)

This one only comes in at #5 because the Wachowskis didn’t really have a choice since Gloria Foster died before the filming of the trilogy was completed. They also did a nice job of weaving Mary Alice into the story under the guise that the Oracle looked different because she was in hiding from Agent Smith and needed a disguise. Still, it always throws me a bit as Alice lacks alot of Foster’s warmth.

MY TOP 10 GAMBLING MOVIES

I got 5 bucks says you love this list. I also got 5 bucks says you may not like it. It’s not the smart way to gamble but I never lose any money so is that really a bad thing?

I really wanted to do a Top 5 Poker Movies list but there aren’t many out there and, of the ones that are out there, I don’t feel like watching them all. My apologies to Kenny Roger’s The Gambler… and his chicken establishment. They’re no KFC!

So, I’ve widened the field to include all forms of gambling. Here’s my Top 10 (in order):

10. SWINGERS.

Swingers only comes in at #10 because, technically, it is not a gambling movie. However, it does feature one of the greatest and most comical gambling scenes ever caught on film. It also taught me what Double Down meant and made the phrase “Vegas, Baby! VEGAS!” legendary.

TOP 5 MOVIES: LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS

————- OUR 150th POST —————

We don’t just like to cover the “greats” here on THE LIST. We also like to spend some time spotlighting the so-horribly-cheesy-that-they’re-awesome actors as well. Today’s spotlight covers the latter. That’s right, today we’re talking about the greatest Lou to come out of the 80’s, after Captain Lou Albano. He’s arguably the greatest Mexican American possibly Cherokee possibly South American possibly American Indian actor to grace the silver screen… the one and only LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS.

In all honestly, while LDP has somewhat faded into obscurity, or at least to realm of SyFy shows and straight-to-DVD movies, he really is a pretty good actor. Want proof? Well, then you’ve come to the right place. I present you with his Top 5 films (in order):

5. COURAGE UNDER FIRE.

Great movie but only comes in at #5 as I’m not sure this is what you would call a LDP vehicle. Still, was nice that as his career was on a bit of a downslide that someone gave him a role in a serious film. A role that he did a pretty good job with.

MILFcast (aka: the Man, I Love Films podcast) – Episode 12

For the 12th Episode of MILFcast, I am joined by my co-host Heather Roddy of Movie Mobsters and special guest Steve Johnston of  The Film Cynics Radio Show (and blog) to discuss the following:

– What we’ve been watching.

– We pick our favorite TNT movies or Films we’d never buy on DVD because they’re always on Cable..

– Movie News.

– We play a game of Kai’s Always Right and THE GAME!!!

You can find MILFcast on podOmatic by clicking here. You can also subscribe or download for free on iTunes. Please drop a comment or leave any feedback on the episode below or send me an e-mail at: kai_parker@yahoo.com

Here are the standings for THE GAME thus far (21 = Perfect Score):
1. Dylan Fields – 19 points
T-2. Rachel Thuro – 15 points
T-2. Jason Soto – 15 points
T-3. Mad Hatter – 13 points
T-3. Heather Roddy – 13 points
T-4. Andy Hart – 12 points
T-4. Nick Jobe – 12 points
T-4. Melody Quimbao – 12 points
5. Jessica Rogers – 11 points
6. Scott Knopf – 10 points
T-7. Whitney Borup – 9 points
T-7. Univarn – 9 points

NEW MUSIC for the podcast provided by Steve Bush of The Bill Shakespeares who can be found at http://thebillshakespeares.com