GOREGIRL over at GOREGIRL’S DUNGEON is going to be sooo disappointed in me!

So, as a movie blogger and general film fan, I take great pride in seeing every single film I can get my hands on. No matter how much I don’t want to. You listening Twilight? Damn you for hooking me on your franchise! I see the good, the really bad and the down right ugly. One of my favorite genres over the years has become Horror. I love me a good scare. However, there are 3 films out there I just can’t pull the trigger on. I thought I’d share them with you today.

I should say, before we begin, that this list used to feature 4 films and included Takashi Miike’s Audition (shown above). I had heard the audio for the ending of the film and found it quite disturbing. However, at a friend’s suggestion (talking to you Bruce Wayne), I watched the film and it wasn’t that bad. So maybe “NEVER” is too strong a word but for now I’m sticking with it because these films honestly scare the shit out of me!

Call me a pussy! Call me a coward! Call me what you you will… just don’t call me a liar because here are the 3 films that I’m honestly never going to see. In order:


Don’t stop reading! They get better. I’m sure I’ll get crap for this one but the fact is I think my upbringing in Christianity is the reason for this one. I’m not religious anymore but some stuff stays engrained in you. When it comes to ghosts, goblins and monsters, I’m fine… but, because of my upbringing, I try to avoid demons at all costs. Not to say I haven’t seen quite a few films that feature them. However this one just creeps me out. I realize it does seem a little lame since the film was nominated for an Oscar but I just can’t budge on this one. I will say that it did only come in at #3 because I did start the film once but had to turn it off before getting half way through.

2. LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (Original Version).

I use the term “NEVER” lightly because I could see myself watching this one day in a moment of sheer stupidity. I’ve seen the remake and wasn’t a fan. What can I say? I’m not a fan of rape in films. Wait… come to think of it, I’m not a fan of rape in general. And the violence seemed to be there for the sake of violence which is not what attracts me to Horror Films. The reason I found the original so uber-disturbing is the time period in which it was made and the low budget give it a sense of reality that disturbs me on a primal level.


This one gives me the mother of all eeby-jeebies! For those of you that haven’t heard of this film, here’s the premise:

A group of documentary filmmakers go into a village of Cannibals to shoot a film about them. You can imagine where things go from there.

Since I first heard of it, this film has been the Holy Grail to the Horror lover inside of me. Sadly, I just can’t do it for 3 reasons (OOH! I feel a list within a list coming!)… here they are:

1. The film is shot in such a way, from everything I’ve seen, that it looks too real. Bordering on a snuff film!

2. It features the real killing of real animals.

3. This film came to be known because the director was put on trial in his home country and forced to produce one of the actresses from the film in court. Her death scene in the film was so realistic that they tried to convict him of Murder and he was forced to prove his own innocence… YEAH! I KNOW! So, I’m out… but, if you want to, have at it!

That’s it for now, Creeps.

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Have a great day and remember… it’s only a movie!!!


  1. This is a great post and good for you for admitting you don’t want to watch these films because you fear their effect. I had a real problem with The Exorcist (that’s why it’s probably my number 1 film of all time) because it troubled my Mum so badly. She saw it in the 70s, did a Ouija board, believed soemthing happened etc, etc., and the film has continued to be one she fears to this day. I didn’t see the film until I was 16 and when I did, it scared the living sh*t out of me. The film has lost none of that effect on me and remains one of the most powerful films ever made. But it is such a great film because underneath the ‘monster’ is a very human story about faith, family, good and evil etc.

    …one day I’m sure you will see it. Watch it with a small group of people. Of the three you mention it is the ONLY essential film you have to see.

    The other two are crap. Simple. The Last House On The Left has some redeeming features – it is a product of the time (so it’s interesting from a pop culture history reference perspective), it shows the raw talent of its director, and displays a very angry sensibility. I like the fact it is obviously made by a group of very enthusiastic filmmakers, but Wes Craven would go on to make many other better films. But I hate torture violence even though I do like revenge movies.

    Cannibal Holocaust on the other hand has no redeeming features. It’s an awful movie. It isn’t just snuff-like material, it’s just plain bad. If you never see this film, you’ve missed absolutely nothing.

    • Thanks, Dan, and thanks for popping up up as a regular reader these days!
      Yeah, I pretty much agree with everything you said. I’ve gotten thru half of Exorcist and will probably see it one day. I’m in no rush though! 🙂
      As far as Cannibal… sounds like a snuff film… I don’t need to see that. As a film fan, I want films that speak to me. I don’t care what level they do it on but they need to say something and this film doesn’t appear to have anything to say!

  2. I am very proud of you for this post. I’m glad that there are things that are “off limits” to you. (Human Centipede SHOULD be on this list. I really don’t know how it is any different than these films. But, I digress. )Continue to let this stuff bother you. Don’t desensitize yourself. It’s what keeps us human.

    • Human Centipede was sooo not as bad as these films, my dear. Wasn’t even as bad as you think base on the description!

    • I’m with Darren. I couldn’t get Centipede out of my head for days…after watching the trailer. I will never ever watch that flick.

      • It’s pretty tame. Even the actual surgery stuff… they cut away before any real gore. The idea and creepiness causes a more cerebral disturbing feeling than a visual one but not one that will stick with you for long. I forgot most the movie after a couple of days.

  3. I know a lot of people who couldn’t get through The Exorcist (I’m one of them!). It truly is one of the scariest movie ever made and it is just too damn effective for its own sake 😉 One of the main reason I avoid the creepiest-looking horror movies to this day and I probably will never watch it either. As for the other two, they look fucked up especially Cannibal Holocaust.

  4. If you don’t plan on watching the original Last House on the Left, you should watch the Ingmar Bergman film they’re both based on, The Virgin Spring. It’s super effective without excessive rape and violence on screen.

  5. Back the truck up. You are never gonna see “The Exorcist”. You might as well turn in your “Movie Geek” card now, sir.

    • Sorry, man, I’m keepin’ the card cuz I fucking earned it. This goes to Castor’s comment as well, it just has something to do with my religious upbringing. I feel really guilty watching it…. can’t get past that…. it’s not that it’s too scary.

      • Branden Says:

        Come on, I have seen plenty of movies that openly mocked religion and I wasn’t offended. I guess, you just have to hear how good it is. Hmm…

    • Yep, I’m with Kai on “The Exorcist” isn’t scary bit. I’ve seen it once, couldn’t be bothered watching it again. I think it’s because it’s simply not as shocking as it was. I’m going to movie geek hell, but “Halloween” holds up better.

      • Echoing Darren again. I didn’t see Exorcist until sometime in the early 2000s, so I wasn’t scared at all. In fact, I was impressed at just how good a film it was, horror aside.

        I really don’t get the avoidance due to a religious upbringing – I don’t have a great memory, but isn’t it pretty pro-religion? Have you avoided Dogma, Kai?

      • I LOVE DOGMA. Anything dealing with exorcism and demons was considered stuff to keep out of the house growing up. That one was a real focal point on that front. It was just inbred into me to stay away from that film… cuz I’ve seen others with similar content and story… I dunno.

  6. No offense, but you pussy! I saw Cannibal Holocaust when I was eleven, and I’m a better person for it!

    Well, I got props from my history teacher, anyway.

    I’m with you on Audition, though. I’m afraid I just don’t like images of fecal consumption assaulting my eyes.

  7. Glad you got to see Audition, I really liked it. I have never seen Last House on the Left (original or remake) or Cannibal Holocaust. I can’t say I am in any rush to see them either.

    The Exorcist on the other hand is a great movie. A little history behind how I first saw it. It was made before I was born and was never shown on TV or available on video when I was a kid. That that’s not strictly true, it was released on video briefly in the early 80’s before the Video Recording Act 1984 and the so-called ‘video nasty’ list of banned films (Last House on the Left and Cannibal Holocaust were both on the list and have only been released in recent years). Although The Exorcist was never actually banned under the new legislation, Warner didn’t’ submit it for classification and therefore could no longer sell the videos. So it wasn’t until I was eighteen I got to see it in an independent cinema. I then saw it again a few years later when it had an official re-release in cinemas. After the success of the cinema release it was passed uncut with an 18 certificate rating and released on video for the first time. It wasn’t shown on UK terrestrial television until 2001, 28 years after it was first released.

  8. Cannibal Holocaust is far from realistic, The Exorcist is like watching a Disney channel version of a horror movie these days, and Last House on the Left, well, that’s one of the most disturbing on the list….but totally worth seeing because it’s a huge part of film history and you’re only depriving yourself of that film history (and it’s far from fine art, so it’s worth a few laughs too).

  9. Man, I don’t blame you for snubbing the top two, but The Exorcist really isn’t that bad. Only one very upsetting scene, but the rest is her barfing and shit, no biggie. Been meaning to see Last House on the Left for a while now, but that’s probably no joke, same goes for Cannibal Holocaust. Glad you gave Audition a look though, that’s a good’n.

  10. I am HORRIBLY disappointed! (Just kidding Kai). Flicks are a personal thing man! When it comes to horror I quite literally have no line in the sand. My poor husband learned a long time ago that no matter how bad a horror film is I sit through it to the bitter end. He just leaves the room now. That said, Exorcist is one of my faves of all time. Not only does it have some truly intense moments of horror but the performances are all Top-notch particularly Ellen Burstyn!


    Last House On The Left is okay, never been one of my personal favourites. And good on Blake for suggesting you check out Ingmar Bergman’s THE VIRGIN SPRING…AN ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT FILM!!

    • Yeah… I was afraid you’d read this!haha
      I’ll probebly see 2 of 3… it was actually your review that freaked me out on it… I didn’t know about the animal stuff. We gotta get you on the podcast one of thesze days and talk horror.

  11. mcarteratthemovies Says:

    I’ve got another one for you: “Chaos” (2005). It is quite possibly the most disgusting torture porn I’ve ever seen. I wish I could unsee it.

    I can’t fault you for “The Exorcist,” though on principle I think everyone should at least see the head-spinning scene. The one part that stuck with me — even to this day — is the one where Reagan’s bed starts bouncing her wildly and uncontrollably. Sometimes before I get in bed at night I still look at it warily…

  12. I’m with you on Cannibal Holocost and even Last House On The Left, but The Exorcist? It’s really not that bad. Really I promise.

    Audition is one I’ve been trying to bring myself to see!

  13. There’s absolutely no way you would catch me watching The Exorcist. I’m a total coward when it comes to watching any horrors, or indeed anything mildly scary. This film looks like it could give me nightmares for months. No way! (Good to see I’m not alone either)

  14. Exorcist aside, I’m with you, Kai – watching brutal rape and/or whatever the hell goes on in the other two does not entice me. Then again, I’m pretty far from a horror fan in general.

    I’ll never watch The Elephant Man. I saw way too much of that as a kid and it damaged me for years. Deformities and me don’t get along.

  15. […] 07 2010 I read a fascinating post over at Kaiderman’s “The List” today entitled “Films You Didn’t Know I’m Never Going to See.” It was so great that it inspired a factoid on a slow Thursday […]

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