DEAR HOLLYWOOD: EMBRACING 3-D
This is a new ongoing post I’m introducing to the site this week wherein the post will act as an open letter to Hollywood executives offering suggestions on how to make movies and the movie going experience better. This week’s focus? 3-D!
So, what happens when an unstoppable force (that being people who complain about the onslaught of upcoming 3-D films) meets an unmovable object (that being the studios and their greed)? You come to a stalemate. Let’s face it, 3-D is here to stay. Instead of bitching about it constantly, I say we embrace the change. I think Casey Siemaszko and my good friend Billy Zane would agree with me there!
Look, I’m OK with venturing into this new world of 3-D but, if we’re going to do this (and pay more for it), I have some rules. Listen up Hollywood because here they are:
1. NO MORE UP CONVERSION.
There have been some moderate successes to come from the up-conversion process… Alice in Wonderland springs to mind… but for the most part, they’ve all been shite! If I’m going to pay an extra 5 bucks for a 3-D movie, it shouldn’t look the same when I take my glasses off. From now on, if a film is going to be 3-D, the technology used on Avatar needs to be used and the filming staged to enhance the 3-D experience. I realize a lot of upcoming films… Resident Evil 4 has just replaced Alice in Wonderland in my brain… are beginning to use this technology which is why I’m not so quick to bash all 3-D films.
2. NOT EVERY MOVIE SHOULD BE 3-D.
COMING THIS FALL: PRECIOUS 3-D BASED ON THE FILM PRECIOUS 2-D BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE BASED ON POSSIBLE REAL LIFE EVENTS… [gasps for air]… YOU’VE NEVER SEEN AN OVERWEIGHT MOLESTATION VICTIM RUN WITH CHICKEN LIKE THIS!!!
I think we call agree that not every film needs to be 3-D.
3. TAKE A NOTE FROM DISNEY.
I know many of you haven’t had the chance to visit Disney Anaheim’s California Adventure (located adjacent to Disneyland) but I have… jealous? At the park, there is a ride called Soaring over California where you sit down and your seat is then whisped up into the air and held amidst a giant screen the shape of a half sphere. Here’s a pic to give you an idea:
Now I don’t know about you but one of my biggest gripes with 3-D is that the limitations of the screen tend to take me out of the 3-D experience… glass looks like it’s flying at me until it hits the theater curtain and disappears. While I don’t expect theater owners to retrofit their theaters with flying/ suspended seating, why not consider reshaping or expanding the size of the screen… have it extend up side walls of the theaters and make a more immersive experience. This would be costly but we will ultimately pay for it.
Along the same line of thought as well, how about continuing to work on chairs that vibrate along with explosions and the like in the films we’re watching… Disney too has been doing this kind of stuff since Captain EO premiered and it makes for a memorable experience… I’m just saying!
That’s it for now, MOVIE GOERS.
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Have a great week and remember… get out every once in a while… life is 3-D too!!!