THE REASONS ROAD HOUSE RULES

Those of you who read last week’s post know that Road House is MY FAVORITE ALL TIME CHEESY MOVIE! There’s so many reasons for loving this film that I thought it deserved it’s own list. So, here it is, this week’s list: THE REASONS ROAD HOUSE RULES.

THE BUY IN.

So, the premise is a little ridiculous but I can buy in on that… premise being that Swayze plays a bouncer, or “cooler, named Dalton who is brought in to clean up seedy bars and help transform them into fine drinking establishments. The part that’s ridiculous is that it plays on the fact that Dalton is known as the 2nd best “cooler” in the business in bar’s across the nation. The second Dalton walks in to the Double Deuce he’s approached by a woman who says, “I know You.” What? I don’t even know the name of the bouncer at the bar I go to all the time. Let alone, some guy who cleaned up some dive bar in St. Louis or Albequerque. Gotta love how they just run with it though.

THE DIRECTOR.

Road House, a movie about bouncers and bar room brawls, is directed by a guy named “Rowdy”. You just can’t make that up! 🙂

THE SEQUEL.

Road House is so awesome that the people wanted more… and they got it when Road House 2 hit DVD in 2006. Johnathon Schaech (that’s how he spells it) plays undercover DEA agent Shane Tanner, son of legendary cooler Dalton in this must see serving of 5 different cheeses!

TAI-CHI & WHITE MAN KARATE.

I don’t know which I like more… the unnecessary shot of a shirtless Swayze doing Tai-Chi in sweat pants next to a lake or the ultimate bad guy showdown where Swayze and a guy in a sleeveless flannel go all Bruce Lee on each other… until Swayze is forced to take him out. You know, I’m starting to think all those things people say about Chuck Norris should be said about Swayze too!

PHILOSOPHY.

Sure, Swayze’s Dalton can kick some ass but there’s brains to go with the brawn. For some reason, Dalton has a Masters Degree in Philosophy. Why this is added to the story, I have no idea.

UNNECESSARY NUDITY.

There’s a little something for everyone here. At one point, a buck naked Swayze gets out of bed, with someone he hardly knows in the room no less, and bares his back side. The part I loved as a kid though was Swayze busting in on one of the employees while he’s got some girl bent over a keg in the store room. It was the first time I saw nudity in a film… I was 10 years old… Thank you, Swayze.

GREATEST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER WRITTEN.

Seriously, BEST LINE EVER!!! While receiving stitches for a cut, from yet another bar room brawl, Swayze looks at the doctor and says, stone cold, “Pain don’t hurt!”

I cry every time!!!

COMMENTARY.

Newer releases of this DVD feature an audio commentery by Kevin Smith & Scott Mosier, who had nothing to do with the film by the way. I’ve yet to hear it but it’s gotta be priceless!

SAM ELLIOT.

Sam Elliot is just cool. He’s the Marlboro man. He’s what every man should aspire to be… and in Road House he rocks as Dalton’s mentor, Wade Garrett, the best “cooler” in the business.

MULLETS.

“Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” I say the more awesome the mullet, the more awesome the Swayze! This is his finest Mullet, so do the Math! His real life wife is in this film too and even she’s got a pretty good one.

My friends and I once tried to play a drinking game where we watched Road House and took a drink every time a new Mullet appeared on screen. We made it about two-thirds of the way through the opening credits. I actually heard that 11,000 gallons of Aquanet were used to make this movie possible. So, that’s how Global Warming started. Damnit, Swayze!!!

My boy, Aiden at Cut the Crap Movie Reviews did a special review of this film to coincide with this post. To check it out, click here.

That’s it, you crazy for Swayze’s. Please feel free to leave your comments below. I never edit any of the comments. Remember, this was meant to be an interactive site, as much as I love the sound of my own voice.

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Check back next Saturday as that is when new posts go up. I’m also going to try and get some mid-week posts going in the future so stay tuned. Have a great week and R.I.P. Patrick Swayze. We kid cuz we love!!!