THE REASONS ROAD HOUSE RULES

Those of you who read last week’s post know that Road House is MY FAVORITE ALL TIME CHEESY MOVIE! There’s so many reasons for loving this film that I thought it deserved it’s own list. So, here it is, this week’s list: THE REASONS ROAD HOUSE RULES.

THE BUY IN.

So, the premise is a little ridiculous but I can buy in on that… premise being that Swayze plays a bouncer, or “cooler, named Dalton who is brought in to clean up seedy bars and help transform them into fine drinking establishments. The part that’s ridiculous is that it plays on the fact that Dalton is known as the 2nd best “cooler” in the business in bar’s across the nation. The second Dalton walks in to the Double Deuce he’s approached by a woman who says, “I know You.” What? I don’t even know the name of the bouncer at the bar I go to all the time. Let alone, some guy who cleaned up some dive bar in St. Louis or Albequerque. Gotta love how they just run with it though.

THE DIRECTOR.

Road House, a movie about bouncers and bar room brawls, is directed by a guy named “Rowdy”. You just can’t make that up! :)

THE SEQUEL.

Road House is so awesome that the people wanted more… and they got it when Road House 2 hit DVD in 2006. Johnathon Schaech (that’s how he spells it) plays undercover DEA agent Shane Tanner, son of legendary cooler Dalton in this must see serving of 5 different cheeses!

TAI-CHI & WHITE MAN KARATE.

I don’t know which I like more… the unnecessary shot of a shirtless Swayze doing Tai-Chi in sweat pants next to a lake or the ultimate bad guy showdown where Swayze and a guy in a sleeveless flannel go all Bruce Lee on each other… until Swayze is forced to take him out. You know, I’m starting to think all those things people say about Chuck Norris should be said about Swayze too!

PHILOSOPHY.

Sure, Swayze’s Dalton can kick some ass but there’s brains to go with the brawn. For some reason, Dalton has a Masters Degree in Philosophy. Why this is added to the story, I have no idea.

UNNECESSARY NUDITY.

There’s a little something for everyone here. At one point, a buck naked Swayze gets out of bed, with someone he hardly knows in the room no less, and bares his back side. The part I loved as a kid though was Swayze busting in on one of the employees while he’s got some girl bent over a keg in the store room. It was the first time I saw nudity in a film… I was 10 years old… Thank you, Swayze.

GREATEST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER WRITTEN.

Seriously, BEST LINE EVER!!! While receiving stitches for a cut, from yet another bar room brawl, Swayze looks at the doctor and says, stone cold, “Pain don’t hurt!”

I cry every time!!!

COMMENTARY.

Newer releases of this DVD feature an audio commentery by Kevin Smith & Scott Mosier, who had nothing to do with the film by the way. I’ve yet to hear it but it’s gotta be priceless!

SAM ELLIOT.

Sam Elliot is just cool. He’s the Marlboro man. He’s what every man should aspire to be… and in Road House he rocks as Dalton’s mentor, Wade Garrett, the best “cooler” in the business.

MULLETS.

“Some say the blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice.” I say the more awesome the mullet, the more awesome the Swayze! This is his finest Mullet, so do the Math! His real life wife is in this film too and even she’s got a pretty good one.

My friends and I once tried to play a drinking game where we watched Road House and took a drink every time a new Mullet appeared on screen. We made it about two-thirds of the way through the opening credits. I actually heard that 11,000 gallons of Aquanet were used to make this movie possible. So, that’s how Global Warming started. Damnit, Swayze!!!

My boy, Aiden at Cut the Crap Movie Reviews did a special review of this film to coincide with this post. To check it out, click here.

That’s it, you crazy for Swayze’s. Please feel free to leave your comments below. I never edit any of the comments. Remember, this was meant to be an interactive site, as much as I love the sound of my own voice.

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Check back next Saturday as that is when new posts go up. I’m also going to try and get some mid-week posts going in the future so stay tuned. Have a great week and R.I.P. Patrick Swayze. We kid cuz we love!!!

20 Responses to “THE REASONS ROAD HOUSE RULES”

  1. loudogfotog Says:

    I was lucky enough to work a bunch of times with Dean Cundey, the DP of “Road House” and a million other classic movies like “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”, “Halloween”, “Jurassic Park” and a little trilogy called “Back to the Future”. Anyways, he’s obviously worked with some of the best actors in Hollywood. He told me a bunch of stories about working on “Road House”. But the thing he said the most when talking about “Road House”, was how Patrick Swayze was the hardest working, most professional actor he’d ever worked with.

    • That’s awesome because this wasn’t meant to rip on Swayze… we love us some Swayze here on THE LIST… I can watch this movie a million times and never get bored!!!

  2. Editor in Chief Says:

    i object!!..i will put swayze’s dirty dancing mullet up against his roadhouse mullet any day!!! the only thing better than a shirtless, sweat pant wearing swayze doing tai chi, is a shirtless, sweat pant wearing swayze doing the forbidden dance!!! no one puts baby in a corner!!

  3. I need to see this movie. I need to see this movie. This sounds priceless.

  4. Most awesome post ever.

    My answer to this post needs to be one about Tremors. My favorite awesomely bad movie ever!

    • You keep saying Tremors is bad… i disagree. I’m a Tremors lover and afficianado. If you do do that post, and want a contributor, hit me up!!!

    • I agree with Kai, Tremors does what it sets out to do, and damn near perfectly. It’s a nostalgic 50s B-movie, made with all the charm of an 80s creature feature. It’s also like Jaws, but in the desert!

  5. Kai i love this movie too. I was at a party a few years back and met a very pretty young lady who said she was an actress. I asked if she was in anything i would know? She said yes that she was in roadhouse. Well i know this movie and didn’t remember her, so i watch it again a few nights later. She was the girl in the beginning who’s boyfriend offers the two drunk guys to touch his girls boobs for twenty dollars. She had no speaking part! Just shoed her boobs…of course leading to another fight.
    So i am proud to say that i know the two boobs in roadhouse personally.
    Actress my behind!!!!

    • I think you told me that story… that’s awesome! I saw this movie waaay too young at one of Mom’s friend’s houses and I just remember her scrambling to cover my eyes when the sex scene popped up. hahaha.

  6. mcarteratthemovies Says:

    Kaiderman, would you believe I’ve NEVER SEEN THIS MOVIE?

    (Commence all hell breaking loose among readers and commenters.)

  7. […] to have this review up a couple weeks ago to coincide with Kai B. Parker’s post on “Reasons Why Road House Rules“, but since I’m an idiot and hadn’t already seen this, it took me a minute to get […]

  8. Someone I read had the perfect description of this movie –
    “the best bad movie ever made”

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